Pain in the b*tt...

So...I have once again taken up exercise. I gave it up in 1996. It was a conscious choice. I quit the soccer team and decided that I didn't need to exercise ever again. It just seemed like a silly waste of time to me. Not only did I give up exercise, I think I may be one of the only people to ever actually actively campaign against it.

Let me explain my reasoning for such seemingly illogical campaigning (there happens to be a lot of scientific research to support exercise). When I spoke out against exercising, I wasn't saying we should all be lumps on the couch. Physical activity, in my young mind, was perfectly acceptable. Things like frisbee or football or soccer are virtuous and lovely and should be sought after. What I personally found to be completely silly was exercise isolated from any type of sporting event or game. Running isn't fun. If you think it is, you are lying to yourself. It hurts. It makes your lungs burn and your legs tired. You get sweaty and smelly, and if you're not careful your toe nails will turn black and fall off. Soccer, on the other hand, is fun...and if you have to do some running as part of the victory process, so be it. But just running? Such a thought makes reason stare.

So, flash forward from 1996 about 5 years. At the end of my mission, I started setting goals. Missionaries do crazy things like. I decided that maybe it was time for me to be "fit" again. Something about serving the Lord heart might mind and strength. When I got home I joined a gym, and I have actually been a member pretty much ever since that time. It turns out that all those scientists are right. Exercise does make you feel better. As my HEPE teacher at BYU always hoped for me, I have learned to "reap the benefits" of exercise.

Why on earth am I pontificating on such a random topic? You all know me and probably realize that when I say that I have taken up exercise, I mean that I work out once a week--twice a week if I'm lucky. I am certainly no rambo barbie. After a 2 month spell with no gym membership (I thought that I could save money and do step aerobics alone in my bedroom. That was a joke...), I went back to Gold's yesterday and gave them a ridiculous sum of money so that I can run and not go anywhere, and then lift some heavy things, all while enjoying the latest music videos. As part of getting the membership, I also had a workout with a personal trainer. I don't know what this says about me, but she had me do a lot of exercises that worked me glutes...and today my bum is very sore. That is all.

Thoughts on exercise? Please share!!

Reasons why my blog has been so ignored...

I started this blog with such good intentions. I intended to update it every week. I intended to never run out of witty topics about which to write. I intended to build up my fan base with my consistency. Obviously, that didn't happen. I'm not saying it's never going to happen. It just hasn't exactly worked out the way I first intended. As I have learned from my students, there really is an excuse for everything. So I would like to share with you, my excuses for why there have been so few updates in the past few months.

10. Summer Vacation
I believe I have mentioned before that the best part of my job is that I get the summer off. That means I am allowed to pretty much take the month off of all my responsibilities. I don't have to work, write blogs, shower...okay, I still shower during the summer (especially after a few good hours baking in the sun).

9. Multivariable Calculus
My summer vacation was already disrupted by the fact that I had to take 8 credits of math. Who does that? And who can write witty blog entries when one's mind is full of vectors and permutations? Those words by themselves just sucked at least 3 creative sentences out of my head.

8. Sleep
When given the choice of writing my blog or going to bed, my bed always wins. In fact, there are very few things that I would actually choose above sleep. Hmmm...maybe that's why I'm still not married...and it gives me serious concerns about motherhood.

7. Exercise
Yes, I did give up exercise in 1996. I thought that I would never do it again. I was an outspoken crusader against the ever-popular trend. However, it turns out that you really do have more energy if you work out consistently (and by consistently I mean once every 10 days). The problem is that if I squeeze in a workout, that squeezes out something else...and I've already mentioned that something else is not sleep.

6. Book Clubs
I currently belong to several book clubs. They are aLL wonderfuL, aLthough I cLearLy have a favorite. Some of my other book clubs actually expect me to read the book. I know. High maintenance. Actually, I quite enjoy it, but it does take away time from other things I could be pursuing.

5. Dating
Actually, this is taking up no time at all, but I'm sure if I didn't have to even think about it, I'd have more time for my blog.

4. TV
Did you know that the average American watches an average of 4.5 hours of TV everyday. I kind of hate to admit this, but I've recently been getting frighteningly close to that average. You never plan to sit down and watch hours of TV. You turn the TV on while eating dinner, and then you are so exhausted, you decide just to veg for a while...and all of a sudden it's bed time (see #8)...One more day without updating the blog.

3. Pure exhaustion
I've decided that for teachers, September is basically like living through a month-long Monday morning. I've been so overwhelmed by getting into the groove of a new school year, that I come home and crash on the couch and don't have the energy to move again for hours. (See #4). It doesn't help that I'm teaching 3 different subjects, am in charge of the Geometry curriculum team and am helping with NHS. I know. We're all busy, but if you can't gripe on your own blog...

2. Internet Filters
Fairfax County Public Schools decided that blogspot was inappropriate material for young minds, and I think it's great to protect our students. However, it has made it much more difficult for me to keep up my fantastic blog.

1. Everything Else
Besides the above-mentioned, in the last month I've also been to North Carolina and Boston (entries to follow). I was in a car accident on the way to Boston, and my car is still in NJ. My cousins came to town. I helped with my nephews when my sister-in-law went to the hospital and helped again when the new baby went back to the hospital. I've also done various home decor projects including finally hanging my curtains...so you can see there's clearly not been time for blogging. But I have reset my goals, and will hopefully be more consistent in the future.

Now you know what deep and weighty matters are occupying my time. What keeps you from getting to the stuff you plan on getting to? I love comments!!!

Coming soon...

To my adoring fans: I must apologize emphatically for so long ignoring my blog. I promise an update is coming very soon. Just to whet your appetites, I wanted to let you all know that I am currently formulating a three-part entry in my mind. I should probably use my brain-power to write the actual entries rather than this teaser...but it's good to make people wait sometimes. I guess you could say that I'm playing hard to get, but don't worry, not too hard to get...

Flat irons and jeans

I will depart momentarily from my usual format to share a few random thoughts. Lest you think you are about to read something deep and important, please be warned that these thoughts are merely random and actually quite superficial. First of all, I've decided that there are some things that it is worth paying a ridiculous and exhorbitant amount for: flat irons and jeans.



I recently bought a new flat iron, and I will admit that I did indeed pay a ridiculous amount for it, but the dividends have greatly overshadowed the cost. It's sad to admit the effect that multiple bad hair days can have on your self-esteem. In a perfect world, even people with bad hair would feel good about themselves, but this is not a perfect world, and I have known my fair share of bad hair days. But all of that has been put to an end with the purchase of my new flat iron. It smooths and straightens like I never thought possible. My confidence has increased threefold due to the fact that I'm no longer walking out of my apartment looking like a fuzzy bush.


Now let's talk about the importance of good pair of jeans. My favorite place to shop for jeans is The Buckle, and if you are over 5'10" and haven't shopped there yet, please do yourself a favor and enter the abundant world of long jeans. I bought a new pair of jeans a few weeks ago, and it is now unpleasant for me to wear anything else. The new ones just look so cute...or maybe they don't even look so cute, but I FEEL like they look so cute, and so they make me happy.



These random thoughts came to me as I was thinking about some of the little things in life that I am grateful for and make me happy. There are lots of actually important things that make me happy as well, but I chose to feature the insignificant today. What insignificant things make you happy?

Reasons why T-Birds are the Best!

I was recently reminded that Timpview High School really is a world class institution. And no, it's not because of its world-class band program (although Mr. Fullmer would probably like to think so). You'd think that nine years later, I would have maybe let go of some of my high school pride, but I find that my orange-and-blue flame grows brighter by the year. Here are some of my reasons why:

10. T-Birds are EVERYWHERE. Here in the DC Metro area there are quite a few of us. We even had a sweet Timpview-Only party a few months ago. None of us actually knew each other in high school, but because we were all T-Birds at one time, the room was filled with love.

9. "That's alright. That's okay. You'll all work for us someday." Yes, this really was one of our cheers. Some people thought that only snobs would have a cheer like this. I think it is just a sign of our confidence in high-quality education we were receiving. And it's a snappy rhyme.

8. Rosalie Mackay. As a history teacher myself, I would just like to say that I learned more in AP US History with Miss Mackay than I did in my college US History classes. Also, I have such fond memories of Miss Mackay grabbing my ear and dragging me out into the hall. I doubt I really deserved such treatment. Sure, I was talking and not paying attention, but then I never paid attention in Government. And then when I went to point out to someone in the hall how to get to a different classroom, she thought I was trying to sneak away.

7. Stud Wall. Every T-Bird knows exactly what I'm talking about: the wall in the commons where the guys who thought they were really cool sat during lunch. I just think it's fantastic that it had a name. And I think it's fantastic that that name spanned generations of T-Birds.

6. Stoner Hall. This is where my locker was freshman year. That is unrelated to the fact that it was called stoner hall.

5. Alan Myrup. He looks like Rick Moranis, but teaches biology.

4. The Timpview High School Band. Let me paint you a picture...was a phrase often used by our band director, and was usually followed by some type of speech meant to convince us that people involved in band are the best people in the world. Most of the other kids around the room were eating it up. Not me. I was laughing at the ridiculousness of all his statements. That's probably why he didn't like me very much. I'd also like to say right here and now that I was "in" the band, but not "of" the band. An important distinction. But I couldn't write about Timpview without some sarcastic comment about the band program.

3. The Stereotypes. Timpview has the reputation of being the "rich-kids school." I just take this as a sign that other people wish they could have gone to Timpview. People only hate that which they want to be a part of, but aren't. If you look at the economic standings, all the high schools in the area are pretty much the same...so I can think of no other reason besides jealousy for such cruelty toward T-Birds.

2. The Journalism Lab. I spent many a happy hour in that tiny closet. The highlight was perhaps the time we were there working late, and my mom tried to give me a swirlie in the faculty bathroom. It's a good thing that it was locked! (You may or may not be aware that The Thunderbolt is an award-winning newspaper. We took state every year for about 5 years in a row.)

1. Timpview Car Wash. Okay this really has nothing to do with the high school itself, but I have some very fond memories at this car wash. Homecoming 1995...that's all that I need to say.

This entry was inspired by my recent trip home, where I was surrounded by T-Birds and reminded how much I love them all! So, now I need your comments. What is your favorite thing about Timpview? Who is your favorite T-Bird? What is your favorite thing about T-Birds? Please share.

The "L" in all its glory. I promise an update of the blog next week when I finish my classes!! 

World Cup rocks me to the core! 

Reasons why World Cup is better than the Olympics

I absolutely love the Olympics. One of the major challenges of my mission was that I had to miss the Sydney Olympics. It hurt my heart. I think I saw every single event that was broadcast of the Athens Games. I love to watch people who have worked so hard and achieved such an amazing level of physical ability. I love watching people cry as they salute their flag and sing along to their national anthem--especially when it's someone from some random country that had no chance of ever winning. The Olympics are just inspirational.



Despite my deep and abiding love for the Olympics, in recent weeks, I have decided that I like the World Cup even more...and here are my reasons.



8. Team Spirit. I don't think there's another sport with such a strong team spirit. I love watching the entire team hug and tackle the guy that got the goal.

7. International attention. I don't know why the U.S. has missed out on this, but everywhere else in the world, the whole country shuts down to watch and support their country's team. I don't think there's another sport that brings the world together as much as soccer. Everyone loves it.

6. Nationalism at its finest. There is patriotism oozing from the stands. Everyone loves their team. Everyone paints themselves the color of their team and drapes themselves in their country's flag. Isn't it great to see so many people proud of their homes.

5. Irish Announcer. As much as I love Elfie Schlegel and her ability to predict every two-tenth deduction a gymnast might receive, I like the Irish soccer announcer better. He's just cool, and he doesn't make stupid comments like, "He just wasn't going for the stick."

4. Finesse and Control. As a former soccer player, I appreciate the unbelievable skill that these players have. It blows me away how far they kick the ball, and yet how accurately they pass and perfectly they control the ball. It's just pretty to watch.

3. Red and Yellow Cards. There have been 300 yellow and red cards given so far this World Cup. That's a lot.

2. Excitement. I thought I was going to have a heart attack when the U.S. was playing Italy. There were so many chances when Italy could have scored, but we held them back (not that it mattered in the end), and it made for some very exciting sports watching. I felt the same when Croatia lost to Australia. So sad!!!

1. The commercial with the two little boys who choose teams of professional soccer players. This commercial has inspired me to learn Spanish and move to Spain next summer! It's fabulous!!




What have been your favorite World Cup moments? Who do you pick to win? Why do these international sporting competitions cause so much excitement? Please, share your thoughts.

Ode to a Minivan

I think that the minivan is perhaps the most underrated car on the road. I'm not going to try to pretend here that I haven't had my share of anti-minivan sentiment. In fact, it's hard to deny that the minivan is one of least cool cars on the road. But why is that? What about the minivan suggests that it is just completely uncool? When I was about 8 or 9, my family got our first minivan. At that time, it was nothing but pure sweetness. Of course, considering the fact that the car it replaced was a nasty old station wagon referred to as "the pig", with splitting leather (or should I say vinal?) seats, melted crayon all over the carpet in the back and a car-sick smell the moment you opened the door, it's not surprising that a new, luxurious Dodge Caravan seemed like a major step forward. I'm pretty sure that it made my mom very happy.

By the time I got to high school, however, the comparison to the old car had faded, and our family minivan seemed a might embarassing to drive around in. Although, it did come in handy when you wanted to fit three couples in the same car for a date dance. But really, it seemed to me that if you were going to have a large car, shouldn't it just be an SUV? Even now, though this entry is dedicated to giving the minivan its rightful praise, I will admit that I'd much rather be an SUV-mom than a minivan-mom.

Having said that, let me now explain the recent events that have spurred me to rethink my past feelings about minivans. I have mentioned a few times now that I have been wanting some new couches. Well, I finally bought some. It's a sweet (though previously owned) red suede sectional with a big overstuffed ottoman. It brings me inexpressable joy. Now the connection to the minivan: I fit the entire sectional, including ottoman, into the back of my brother's new Toyota Sienna (by the way, if you're interested in purchasing one of your own, go visit Dan Bradshaw at Brent Brown Toyota in Provo). I originally thought it would take us three separate trips to get the couch moved over, and then as we started packing it in there, we thought that it would be no more than two. In the end, thanks to the faith of my trusty helpers (I owe you guys!), we were able to arrange each piece in such a way as to fit the entire sectional in one trip. And for that, I offer the following 3-verse Haiku (which will not separate the stanza no matter how many times I fix the spacing and press publish--frustration!):

Ode to a Minivan

You may not be cool,

but vast interior space

makes up for a lot.

Automatic doors,

fold-down seats and DVD,

Rear control A/C,

Plenty of seating,

Just to name a few reasons

minivans are sweet.

Finis

Thoughts on minivans? What makes them cool? or not? Haikus get bonus points.

Reasons why "Modest is Hottest"

It has recently been brought to my attention that people wear really unattractive clothing. I am not going to go into what is or isn't acceptable as far as fashion is concerned, although I look at girls my age who are wearing plaid pleated skirts with matching plaid sweater vests and wonder where on earth they found them. Why are companies making such things? Or better yet, why would a shopper my age not notice that they are the only non-senior citizen in a store and get a clue that they might not be in the appropriate department? You see these people everywhere you go--the 27-year-old in high-waisted, tapered pants or baggy button-up blouses. You are not 73-years-old!

However, I am not here to pontificate on fashion do's and don'ts. Wearing an outfit two decades too late is harmless enough. It is violations such as the wearing of outfits two sizes too small that I would like to discuss. I know that as women, we like to be skinny. We have somehow accepted the idea that the skinnier we are, the more beautiful. I don't think it's even men trying to convince us of this. I think that we create and reinforce this fallacy amongst ourselves. Women are much harsher critics than men, for the most part. Regardless of how a pair of pants looks, many are convinced that a smaller size implies that you are more attractive. I would like to emphatically disagree! There is nothing attractive about a girl who has squeezed herself into a pair of size 4 jeans that are pushing belly fat up and over the waist, forcing love-handles to bulge in the back, and most likely revealing a plummer-bum whenever they are seated. I would like to plainly state that a smaller size does not mean more attractive. I, myself, recently had the painful experience of going to GAP and trying on my regular size only to find that there was some squeezing and bulging going on. It was difficult, but I asked my ever-so-helpful dressing room clerk to go find me a bigger size. It hurt. I'm not going to lie. But I'd rather look fabulous in 6's than overly-squeezed in 4's. I am here suggesting to the world that full (properly-fitting) coverage accentuates everyone's beauty. So here are my top ten reasons why I think that "modest is hottest."

10. Love-handles
You may have them, but if your shirt goes down long enough, nobody has to see them.

9. Comfort
Why pull and tug all day in complete discomfort? Find a longer skirt, higher shirt or whatever, and spend your day thinking about things other than what might happen to be showing.

8. Self-esteem
Do you really need that kind of attention to feel good about yourself? Wouldn't it feel better to get attention because of your sparkling personality? Yeah. I think so too.

7. Plumbers are great, but...
We don't want to see your bum.

6. Motion
It's really nice to have enough give in your pants that you can sit down without ripping them.

5. Shooting Beavers
I have no idea where this phrase comes from. My mom probably got it from her mom who grew up in Heber, Utah, but it refers to an unlady-like seated position. Not so much a problem if you are wearing pants. If you are wearing a mini-skirt, there could be trouble for anyone sitting across the way...

4. Thoughts
When I was in high school I wasn't allowed to wear skirts that didn't come down to my knee. My Dad's reasoning for this was always the same: "Boys will have thoughts." I was pretty ticked off about it in high school because I have really long femurs, and skirts never came all the way to my knees. Looking back, I think my Dad might have been right after all...

3. Focus
This goes back to not having to tug and pull all day. It is statistically proven that students do better when they are wearing modest clothing. Everyone focuses better when proper coverage has been achieved.

2. Hypothermia
Sometimes it's cold outside. Sometimes it's even cold inside. Sometimes my scantilly-clad students beg me to turn up the heat because it's freezing. I look at them wearing a mini-skirt and spaghetti-straps in January and leave the thermostat where it is... Actually, I usually turn up the heat (even though they don't deserve it) because I'm usually cold despite the sweater and 3 layers of shirts I have on.

1. Tornado Drills
You never know when you're going to be involved in a tornado drill. Oh those poor girls in their mini-skirts and thongs when they have to get down with their heads to the ground and bottoms in the air. Yikes!!

Do you think "modest is hottest?" What are your least favorite infractions? Fashion advice? Please share.

Reasons to be "negatively attracted"

Sometimes my roommates and I like to talk. I say sometimes because that's about how often more than two of us are there at the same time...and awake. But these nighttime chats are highly entertaining. I am reminded of one chat in particular where a new a brilliant phrase was coined: negatively attracted. This phrase may have originated in a discussion about dating (object of this repulsion will remain unnamed), but it didn't take us long to realize the utility of the phrase. There are all sorts of things to which you can be negatively attracted. To give you an idea, let me start with the top ten things to which I am negatively attracted.

10. Cooked Spinach
When I was younger, there were many vegetables which I couldn't tolerate. Now, in my advancing years, I find that I actually enjoy some of these previously loathed foods. Asparagas, once dreaded, is now a delight (thanks in part of FoodNetwork and Rachel Ray). Cooked spinach, however, I still cannot stand. It tastes like vomit to me. Sometimes I try it just to see if I still hate it, and I do.

9. Timpview High School Band
I play the flute, which means that in high school I joined the band. It seemed like the thing to do. I would like to mention right now that I was "in" the band, but not "of" the band. I think you'll all understand what I mean by that. My teacher drove me nuts. He'd always "paint us a picture" of why the band is the most important thing in the world. My answer to you, Mr. F., I am negatively attracted to you and your band.

8. Adkins Diet
When did carbs become the enemy? I remember when calories were the enemy. Then it was fat. Who knows what comes next. How so many people in this nation were convinced to eat nothing but meats, fats and dairies in order to lose weight is beyond me. Hey there captain sausage! Eat a vegetable. Sorry. I was just getting sick of seeing low-carb this and that. I mean, if you're eating at McDonald's, do you think it really matters if they leave off the bun?

7. Tapered Pants
Nobody looks good in tapered pants. All it does is make your bum look big.

6. My Trailer
So my classroom is a trailer, and it smells bad. I've got an air freshener, but it still just stinks whenever you walk in the door. Also it is about 15 feet wide and a bajillion feet long. I sometimes feel like I'm teaching in an airplane. Can't they just let me inside the building?

5. Casseroles
This entry is in honor of my roommate, the one who coined the very phrase that I am honoring here today. I actually like casseroles, but she is negatively attracted to them. In her words, "If it's in a 9 x 13 with cream of anything, it's disgusting." In my opinion, there are a lot of things that fit that description which are quite delicious, but it's really fun to say the word casserole around her and watch her fake vomit at the sound of the word.

4. Tom Cruise
I hope his career goes down in flames. I've never been the hugest fan, but I am convinced that he is crazy, and he's using his fame and fortune for evil. I think we should start an organization called "Free Katie Holmes" even though I don't really care much about her as an actress. I still don't think she should be inflicted to the madness of Tom Cruise. I'm glad Nicole got out.

3. Public Bathrooms
Yuck.

2. High-water pants
As a tall girl, I am particularly sensitive to this problem. I really don't understand why clothing companies didn't figure out sooner how many women out there are above 5'2". A 31" inseam is just not going to cut it. All through junior high, my pants were too short. This is not because I was growing or unaware of the problem. It is because I just couldn't find pants long enough. I'm sure you can imagine the kind of insecurity this caused. Glory be that the internet was invented (thanks Al Gore) with their extra-long pant selection. However, I am still slightly baffled about why companies like Gap make extra-long jeans but not extra-long cords or trousers. If tall people don't want their jeans to be floods, why would we want our dress pants to be?

1. My couches
I have been told that they really aren't that bad. I don't believe it! When I sit on the plaid one, I can smell it. That spells negative attraction in my world.

So what are you negatively attracted to? All those of you who are reading (and I know you're out there) and not commenting, now is the time! I know there are many things you are negatively attracted to, so please share!

Reasons why I will probably NOT drop out of my Master's program

As previously mentioned, I tend to have a midlife crisis biannually where I decide that my current life plan is clearly falling short and begin the search for a new life plan. I think I've finally decided to stop kicking against the pricks and accept the fact that I'm a teacher. I always wanted to be a teacher. I like teaching. I'm going to start channeling the energy that could be put into figuring out a new life plan into excelling in my current one. A fairly obvious decision, but groundbreaking nonetheless.

I recently started a Matser's program in History at GMU, and I have to be honest that I am completely not enjoyingng my class. At some points, I have actually begun to question the validity of History as a field of study (which is an entire entry of its own,--reasons why I don't believe in hisotry-- and will have to wait for another day). Put this together with my propensity for thinking up new life plans, and the decision was clear: I should drop out of this program. What would I ever do with a Master's degree in History anyway? So here are my top ten reasons why I think I will not drop out after all.

10. Nobody likes a quitter.
It would be pretty lame of me to give up after one bad class. And it is the methods class, which is notorious for being worthless, so depsite the fact that I don't like it, I am very optimistic that it will get better in the future.

9. The grass is always greener
One of the reasons that I decided to the degree part time is because I had way too much free time last semester. I just needed to be busier. So now that I've got lots to do, all I can think of is how nice it would be to have more free time. Oh, the home decor projects that I could accomplish! (Way too much HGTV lately...) If I dropped out, I'd probably remember that life is better when you're busy.

8. Grades
I hate to admit it, but I have always been far too motivated by grades. It's like that A on your transcript is really saying, "Bethany, you are a wonderful person. Go ahead. Have good self-esteem." It's kind of addicting. Just when I was at the peak of wanting to drop out, I got my first assignment back--with glowing comments from my professor, and I remembered how much I like the kind of positive reinforcement that getting good grades offers. It happened again after my midterm.

7. Avoidance = Productivity
It is amazing how much I have accomplished since I started this class. And I'm not talking about my homework, which is sitting tauntingly next to me, unfinished. It turns out that I don't really like reading books that are assigned to me. So I justify my procrastination by convincing myself that other projects are more important, or at least equally productive. My room is cleaner. My dishes are done. My laundry is folded and put away in a timely fashion. I've been jogging and eating healthily. These tasks would clearly be put off if I didn't have something even more dreaded to avoid.

6. Couches
I still want to buy some couches. And if I have a Master's degree, I will be better capable of purchasing such things.

5. Learning
I actually really like History (despite the fact that I don't always believe in it). It's fascinating to learn about how people lived and to imagine the world that they would have known. And there are so many connections between History and other fields. I like it. Also, the only other field that remotely interests me is MFT, but I don't know if I'd really like that as my profession or not. And it turns out you can totally "counsel" your friends without a lincense, so why get a whole degree?

4. Taxes
I got a big tax break this year due to the fact that I paid tuition. Wahoo!

3. Title
When I have a Master's degree, then I can ask people to please call me Master Bethany. Or maybe Master Durham. I haven't decided yet.

2. Better chances of getting on Oprah.
It's really hard to be a guest expert on Oprah if you don't have some type of advanced degree, and while a PhD would probably be best, a Master's degree gets me one step closer...

1. Now is the time!
As my mother has pointed out to me over the past 4-5 years, there will never be another time in life when it is this easy to do an advanced degree. Someday when I'm married and busy with family and the like, I might just look back and kick myself if I waste the time I have right now to do cool things. So, I think I'll stick it out.

So I need some motivation...have you ever thought about quitting, but didn't? How were you blessed for efforts?

Reasons Why Justice Has Prevailed Once Again

Sometimes I drive a little bit too fast. I try to watch it, but I have a pretty sweet car, and it has happened that I haven't noticed how fast I was going before it was too late. Fortunately for me, there have only been three occasions on which a friendly officer of the law actually noticed me going too fast.

I was 20 years old when I got my first ticket. I was driving up Provo Canyon to a ward party with my roommates. I was not thinking about driving. I was thinking about Jeff. I had liked him for over a year, and his roommates had been preparing me all week to ask him that night if there was ever a chance for us to date. They assured me that I would get a positive answer, but getting that ticket was a bad omen. And then Jeff flirted with my roommate all night, so I didn't talk to him after all. I also didn't pay the ticket--not on purpose. It's sometimes a bad idea to have all your mail go to your parents' house but live somewhere else because then when the police department sends you your ticket, you don't get it. In fact, when they send you a letter telling you there is a warrant out for your arrest due to not paying that speeding ticket, you don't even find out until 3 months later. I didn't have to wait 3 months to find out what was up with Jeff, though. He called me the next day and told me that we should date. So I was also 20 years old when I got my first kiss.

After my next ticket, which happened to be four and a half years later (driving home for lunch between shifts at the MTC), the policeman told me that since I had a clean driving record, I could go to traffic school, and it would be erased from my record. So I went to traffic school. I remember thinking that there was nothing that they could say to me at traffic school that would have a long-term impact on my lead foot, but I was wrong. After an hour of stories about people like me who had been driving just a bit too fast and then hit a small child, maiming or paralyzing him for life, I have changed my ways. Being a danger to myself, I can handle. I'm the one that has to live with it. But the thought of potentially hitting some innocent kid who was just running out into the street to get his four-square ball, and damaging his life forever has permanently slowed me down. For the most part.

My third ticket I received about two months ago. The story is uneventful. I had no idea that the road I was driving on was a 30 mph zone. With two lanes both directions, who would guess that? I can't really blame the cop. I was definitely speeding, but it was a transgression rather than a sin because I didn't knowingly violate this very important traffic law. So today, I had my very first experience in court. I pled "guilty with an explanation." I explained to the judge that having recently moved here from Utah and was unaware of the speed limit. The judge pondered a moment, and then said, "I'll take your word for it," and he lowered my fine. That is what our legal system is all about, and I'm proud to be a part of it.

So, tell me about your traffic violations... Have you gotten off? Does crying really work? Don't be shy...

Reasons why I love Target

Sometimes it makes me happy just to be at Target. Like today, for example. It's spring break, so I have time to finally do some of the errands that I've been putting off. One of these errands was to return a Beattles "Magical Mystery Tour" t-shirt to Target (that was the French pronunciation). Never fear, I did find a sweet Aerosmith t-shirt to exchange for it with the year 1978 on the back. That was the year I was born, and sometimes I like to pretend like I'm a hard core butt-rocker even though the truth is that besides 3 or 4 songs on Monster Ballads 2, I am completely unfamiliar with all things butt-rock. I missed getting on that bandwagon in junior high, and I fear it has passed me by.

But I digress...Target is a wonderful place. I had a friend who once said that Target is the "Nordstrom" of all Shopkos--a deep statement with which I heartily concur. At target, you can basically find everything you could ever want (except today when I wanted an ironing board to hang on my door--they were out) at a fantastic price, but the environment seems to be just a cut above other stores like Walmart or K-mart. Just the fact that there isn't a "mart" in the name makes you feel like you're getting higher quality products. So here are my top ten reasons why I love Target:

10. The Frame Aisle
I hardly ever take pictures, and I blink in most of them anyway, so it's not like I really need a bunch of frames, but I like to puruse the merchandise and imagine what it would be like if I had all sorts of money to throw away on things like frames.

9. Christmas Decorations
This year I was able to decorate my entire apartment (which clearly needs to be spiced up--we are living in an institution with all these bare white walls) for about $20. That included lights for the inside banisters, garland for the dining room balcony, festive bows, and designer wrapping paper and bows.

8. Nail Polish
Target is my favorite place to buy nail polish, mostly because I never really think about buying nail polish except when I happen to walk past the cosmetics section of Target. I don't seem to get sucked in by cosmetics at the grocery store, but there's just something about Target...

7. Bath Rugs
They have every color you could possibly imagine (except the color I most recently needed to buy--a lovely cranberry red to match my shower curtain--bought at Target. Don't worry, Sears had just the thing). I like to see the various matching garbage can/toothbrush holder sets. It must be my nesting instinct.

6. Kitchen Appliances
I almost bought a KitchenAid chopper today. It was only $39.99. I attribute this to the fact that I've been watching too much FoodNetwork, and they all have food processors. I reminded myself that I'm going to need something left for people to buy me when I get married, and I refrained.

5. Furniture
Target has the best Pottery Barn imitations on the market. I have my eye on a bookshelf...

4. Socks
I like to buy my socks at Target because they are cheap.

3. Secret Lights
When decorating your apartment with "secret lights" (thank you AG 6 and P12) it's important to be able to change them with the seasons, and target carries a great selection. I recently purchased some cool red icy lights to decorate our dining room balcony with. Unfortunately, when plugged in they give off an eerie red death-glow. Had I thought about that before-hand, I probably would have gotten the clear ones.

2. Paper Products
I'm a huge fan of Target's wrapping paper. They also have nice stationary and journals. In fact, one of my favorite quotes comes from the front of a Target journal: "Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen."

1. T-Shirts
I love Target T-Shirts. They fit nicely--not too short. They don't shrink like you think they might, and they are usually $7.00. My favorite one from last year is Care-Bears, and it says "C'mon get happy!"

Target really is a little slice of heaven on earth. What are your thoughts? Do prefer Walmart or Target? How do you feel about using the French pronunciation? What have been some of your best buys? Please share!!

Reason why Merry Christmas and a "Fortunate" New Year is ruined

I had the opporunity this weekend to volunteer at the National Cherry Blossom Festival Parade. I played a pivotal role--I ate doughnuts; I got a free t-shirt; I showed girl scouts where to stand with their banners; I told young military cadets where to stand with their flags. I did this all in the pouring rain. It's questionable whether the parade would have been able to function without me...

You may or may not be aware of the fact that Pat Sajak was this year's Grand Marshall. He was in town looking for contestants to join him on Wheel of Fortune, which happens to be "America's Game." So why not have him lead America's Parade? It turned out that the important tasks which I mentioned above were all being performed right next to the official Wheel of Fortune Tour Bus, and despite the fact that I'm not necessarily a "Wheel Watcher", I was still kind of excited by the thought of seeing Pat Sajak in person. My excitement only grew when he got out of the Bus and into the little convertible in which he was to lead the parade. I can't explain why, but all morning I kept thinking, "I can't possibly be this close to Pat Sajak and not get my picture with him." Try as I may, I couldn't banish this though from my mind. I finally gave in, knowing full well that it was completely nerdy and ridiculous, but I ducked down next to him (the window was closed due to the intense rainfall) and took a picture. I was thrilled! I actually had my picture with the real Pat Sajak, and my photographer assured me that Pat was making the perfect cheesy game-show host smile.

Later that morning (once all girl scouts were in place), I decided to check out my newly treasured celebrity pic, and was horrified with what I found. In my moment of glory, my one chance to forever capture my close proximity with a game-show demigogue, I blinked!! How hard is it to keep your eyes open for such an important snap shot? It is tragic to be so close to greatness, and, so to speak, drop the ball. Sadly it's not the first time such a thing has happened.

For some reason, as I've been writing this tragic story of an almost glorious moment, I was reminded of another time in my youth when I "dropped the ball." My mom had been assigned to bring Sister Sarah's Salad to a ward barbeque, and she had entrusted me with the making of it. The lettuce was carefully washed and gently ripped into bite-sized pieces. The swiss cheese was cut and added with care. Frozen peas, mushrooms, bacon, green onions--everything was ready and waiting for it's finishing touch: the salad dressing. I was tripling the recipe (we had a very large ward), and the recipe called for 1/3 cup of miracle whip salad dressing and 1/3 cup mayo. Now here's where I dropped the ball: Instead of adding the tripled amount of 1 cup, I added 3 cups of each. Looking back, it did seem a little odd, but I questioned the recipe rather than my computation skills. I was always a rather confident child. We had to add 3 heads of lettuce and put the whole thing in a strainer to make up for my little mistake.

But I digress...I'm still seriously disappointed by the fact that I blinked! It could have been such a sweet picture. I was thinking of making it this year's Christmas card (I'm also thinking of having a Christmas card this year). It could have said, "Have a Merry Christmas and a 'Fortunate' New Year." Nothing says Happy Holidays like me with Pat Sajak, and now it' has been completely ruined. Anyway, have any of you ever "dropped the ball?" What were the repercussions? (I hope nothing so serious as a ruined ward salad or potential holiday card). Please share some of your almost glorious moments. (If you don't have an account, you may leave comments as "anonymous".)

Reasons why I don't take out the trash

I would say that I live in a pretty clean apartment. We do the dishes. We clean up after ourselves. We vacuum on a regular basis. We invested in Costco sized Lysol wipes. What we have a little problem with is taking out the trash. It just keeps piling up...like we're playing garbage Jenga, and whoever knocks the leaning tower of trash over has to take it out. Or at least, they have to remove the liner and put a new one in. It's embarassing to admit, but we've sometimes had as many as three full bags by the time it gets taken out. So here are your top ten reasons why I don't do it.

10. You might as well multi-task. Why take out one bag when you can wait a few days and take out two?

9. I assume my roommates would probably rather do it. They need the blessings such service renders.

8. My roommates assume that I need the blessings. (A big mistake on their part. I'm clearly already blessed far beyond anything I'd get for taking out the trash.)

7. Baby steps. I can't be expected to do dishes and take out the trash. Small measurable goals is the order of the day.

6. When my hometeachers ask if there's anything they can do for us, I like to have something for them. It helps them feel needed.

5. Those bags hold a lot more than you think. You wouldn't want to jump the gun and take out a partially filled bag.

4. I'm just thinking about the environment. I hate the thought of polluting our landfills with more garbage. So I keep it in my house as long as possible. (This is a completely invalid argument. It makes no logical sense, but then again, I'm a girl. I can do that.)

3. Our apartment is rather bare. Sometimes it's hard to tell if anyone even lives here. Several bags of garbage gives it that homey "lived in" look.

2. Germs and stench. Garbage is full of both of them, and I'd rather not associate myself with such things.

1. It's a really long walk to the dumpster!

What are your dirty little secrets? Is there a task around your house that needs some work? Please share personal experiences.

Reasons why I can't decide what to be when I grow up.

People start asking you somewhere around age two what you want to be when you grow up. Why we ask two-year-olds, I'm not sure, but we do. The problem I seem to be having right now is that I am no longer two, and I still don't know the answer to this question. Actually, I think that the older I get, the harder it is for me to decide. In elementary, junior high and high school, if you'd asked me that question, I would have said, "A teacher." Which, as it turns out, is what I have become. So why do I keep trying to think of a new life plan? And if I really hate it so much, why do I eliminate every other new life plan that is presented to me as not quite as good as what I have now? Here are the top 10 reasons why teaching is and yet isn't an acceptable career.

10. Disease
I am convinced that there is no better breeding ground for germs than at school. Although I am still skeptical of any teacher who claims the ability to come up with a deterrent for colds just because they work in this germ-ridden environment.

9. NCLB
You may or may not be familiar with our government's idea of improving education, but it causes me to seriously reflect whether or not I can submit myself to such obvious poppycock for the next thirty years. Although, let's be honest, this legislation is not going to last 30 years. When Bush leaves the White House, we can hopefully all finally admit what a huge mistake this whole thing was and put it behind us. I say we leave a few of these little darlings behind.

8. 7 am
Most schools start around 7 am. That is early. That means that I will probably not get enough sleep for as long as I am a teacher. Of course, I think I need to just accept the fact that I'm not ever going to have enough sleep (it's hard to squeeze in 14 hours a day) no matter what my career is.

7. 2 pm
When I start thinking that 7 am is too early to start work, I remember that I get done at 2:05. No job could possibly beat that.

6. High blood pressure
Managing a classroom can be stressful--especially when the kids just won't listen. Sometimes it makes me want to...vehemently repremand...my students. When I was student teaching, I actually had a dream that I bit one of my student's on the hand because he wouldn't stop talking. I'm not recommending that we swat them on the butt with a paddle (although it might do some of them some good). I'm just saying that they do sometimes make me a little frazzled.

5. The Future of America
Despite my ever-rising blood pressure (please see above), I actually thoroughly enjoy my students. It's pretty fun to spend all day with teenagers. They are funny. For example, one day in class one of my students shouted out "raise your hand if you are now, or ever have been medicated for ADD?" (FYI--results in that class were astounding. I'd say 60% of them raised their hands.) It also makes you feel pretty good when they finally understand a concept or get a C when they've had an F all year. You know, it's the little things that I don't think I would find in an office job.

4. Side-Angle-Side
SAS is my favorite theorem that I teach my students. I really like proving triangles are congruent. I don't often admit this, but I like to figure out geometry proofs, and when I became a history major, I really missed solving equations. That is why I am the Captain of the Nerd Brigade.

5. NCLB
Due to the fact that there are no proofs on the test at the end of the year, we are not allowed to teach our Geometry students proofs. That just makes me mad.

4. Couches
What do couches have to do with what I want to be when I grow up? Well, I want to buy some. I would actually like to buy a lot of things...like maybe a house someday. The theme of my life is not going to be wealth if I am a teacher.

3. Winter Break
It's nice to know that I will get two weeks off every Christmas, I mean Winter.

2. Spring Break
I don't have school tomorrow. I don't have it the next day. In fact, I don't have to go back to work for 10 days!!!

1. Summer Vacation
Honestly, every time I start thinking about other careers, the school year ends, and I have two months off. I don't think I could ever commit to a job that expected me to work all year. I just like my free time way too much! Is it bad to choose a career based on the time off?


So now I want some comments. Have you ever questioned what you should be when you grow up? If you are completely satisfied with your current profession, how did you achieve that? Any suggestions for possible careers for me?