As previously mentioned, I tend to have a midlife crisis biannually where I decide that my current life plan is clearly falling short and begin the search for a new life plan. I think I've finally decided to stop kicking against the pricks and accept the fact that I'm a teacher. I always wanted to be a teacher. I like teaching. I'm going to start channeling the energy that could be put into figuring out a new life plan into excelling in my current one. A fairly obvious decision, but groundbreaking nonetheless.I recently started a Matser's program in History at GMU, and I have to be honest that I am completely not enjoyingng my class. At some points, I have actually begun to question the validity of History as a field of study (which is an entire entry of its own,--reasons why I don't believe in hisotry-- and will have to wait for another day). Put this together with my propensity for thinking up new life plans, and the decision was clear: I should drop out of this program. What would I ever do with a Master's degree in History anyway? So here are my top ten reasons why I think I will not drop out after all.
10. Nobody likes a quitter.
It would be pretty lame of me to give up after one bad class. And it is the methods class, which is notorious for being worthless, so depsite the fact that I don't like it, I am very optimistic that it will get better in the future.
9. The grass is always greener
One of the reasons that I decided to the degree part time is because I had way too much free time last semester. I just needed to be busier. So now that I've got lots to do, all I can think of is how nice it would be to have more free time. Oh, the home decor projects that I could accomplish! (Way too much HGTV lately...) If I dropped out, I'd probably remember that life is better when you're busy.
8. Grades
I hate to admit it, but I have always been far too motivated by grades. It's like that A on your transcript is really saying, "Bethany, you are a wonderful person. Go ahead. Have good self-esteem." It's kind of addicting. Just when I was at the peak of wanting to drop out, I got my first assignment back--with glowing comments from my professor, and I remembered how much I like the kind of positive reinforcement that getting good grades offers. It happened again after my midterm.
7. Avoidance = Productivity
It is amazing how much I have accomplished since I started this class. And I'm not talking about my homework, which is sitting tauntingly next to me, unfinished. It turns out that I don't really like reading books that are assigned to me. So I justify my procrastination by convincing myself that other projects are more important, or at least equally productive. My room is cleaner. My dishes are done. My laundry is folded and put away in a timely fashion. I've been jogging and eating healthily. These tasks would clearly be put off if I didn't have something even more dreaded to avoid.
6. Couches
I still want to buy some couches. And if I have a Master's degree, I will be better capable of purchasing such things.
5. Learning
I actually really like History (despite the fact that I don't always believe in it). It's fascinating to learn about how people lived and to imagine the world that they would have known. And there are so many connections between History and other fields. I like it. Also, the only other field that remotely interests me is MFT, but I don't know if I'd really like that as my profession or not. And it turns out you can totally "counsel" your friends without a lincense, so why get a whole degree?
4. Taxes
I got a big tax break this year due to the fact that I paid tuition. Wahoo!
3. Title
When I have a Master's degree, then I can ask people to please call me Master Bethany. Or maybe Master Durham. I haven't decided yet.
2. Better chances of getting on Oprah.
It's really hard to be a guest expert on Oprah if you don't have some type of advanced degree, and while a PhD would probably be best, a Master's degree gets me one step closer...
1. Now is the time!
As my mother has pointed out to me over the past 4-5 years, there will never be another time in life when it is this easy to do an advanced degree. Someday when I'm married and busy with family and the like, I might just look back and kick myself if I waste the time I have right now to do cool things. So, I think I'll stick it out.
So I need some motivation...have you ever thought about quitting, but didn't? How were you blessed for efforts?
8 comments:
A wise sales instructor once told me, "There's the pain of discipline and there's the pain of regret." A similar sentiment can be found written on the walls of many high school wrestling rooms - Pain is Temporary, Pride Lasts Forever.
In my own life, my proudest moments are the ones when I faced the most adversity and overcame. Those are the times when I learned and grew the most. In a close second to my mission, I think the most difficult yet most rewarding time of my life was the year I finished my undergrad (at GMU, incidentally). Married with two children, I decided to quit my dead-end sales job and go back to school. I took on full-time work at a Marriott hotel that would accomodate my academic schedule and also allow me to earn health benefits for the family. For a year we lived off of tips, front desk wages and loans, all the while my wife basically carrying on as a single mother. After two grueling 18-credit semesters and one 9-credit summer, I finally had my B.A. in hand, which has paved the way to more rewarding sales positions and a more promising career.
Oh and by the way, my comment to your entry on traffic tickets, when the judge almost threw me in the slammer for driving on a suspended license (for not paying a ticket), that happened during the same year.
So while one class might seem to be getting you down now, remember all the reasons you decided to get a masters in the first place and how cool it will be to be called Master Bethany. Additionally, by completing your masters you are doing good in following the counsel of a certain prominent church leader who said to "be smart" and to get "all the education you can get." And in line with your mother's advice, I would add to the prophet's counsel to get all the education you can BEFORE starting the family. When you got kids waking you up at 3am for a diapar change and another bottle, you'll be glad not to have any more papers due.
I never dropped out of anything when I was in school... not even dropping a class. I started a Ph.D. and was hating it. I already had a master's (in MFT) and I had loved that program. After a lot of thought, I just realized it wasn't the program for me and I dropped out. Prior to the decision I really had to decide if I was being a quitter. In the end, it was the best decision I made for myself. I think I'll fulfill that goal one day but it just wasn't the right time. The difference for me was that it wasn't just one class (because I certainly had those in my master's). It was this all around feeling of disdain, feeling unsettled and restless. The lesson I learned from my experience is that sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Sounds as though your situation is different than mine, I just needed some catharsis ;)
Ben,
Thanks for your comments! By the way, do I know you? I thought you were my HT, but apparently not...just curious as to who you are.
Aisy,
I have to say that it's nice to hear that I'm not the only one who feels unsettled and restless sometimes...maybe I should quit drop out of my program. :)
No, sorry I'm not that Ben. I'm the Ben who married your cousin, Allie. She showed me your site. If you do decide to drop the masters, we both agree that you could make it as a stand-up comic. Your postings are hilarious.
Say hi to my cousin, Tom if you see him. I don't know if he's in one of your classes, but he goes to Oakton.
Ben,
My clue that you weren't my hometeacher was the part where you were married with two kids...a dead give away. But now that I know who you are, I am even more pleased to read your comments! And I'm glad that you like my blog. I try to keep my adoring fans entertained...
And I'm sure that Allie could have some good words of encouragement about not giving up...How long did it take her to finish that one class she had left for her BA?...
I think it was actually 3 classes she opted to complete via independent study. She would have finished them on campus the semester we got engaged (and married) were it not for the fact that we got engaged (and married)…
We got engaged 9/6/99 and married 11/23/99. Allie graduated August 2003.
"Never give up, Never surrender."
-- Tim Allen (OK, it was in the script for GalaxyQuest. Commander Peter Quincy Taggart)
See: http://www.timallen.com/actor/films_galaxy.php
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