Sucked into the Vortex

Have you ever been bored on the weekend? I mean really bored? The kind of bored that inspires you to do strange things that normal people only do if there are large amounts of alcohol involved? Well, I wish I could say that what you are about to observe was based on that kind of boredom, but I'm afraid there really is no justification for the events that lead to the creation of the Vortex...

Justin and I were doing homework together at my kitchen table on Saturday night. (Maybe this is why nobody will ever hang out with us...) Anyway, after sitting still for a couple of hours, I decided I needed to move around a little, so I went downstairs and turned on some music and asked Justin if he wanted to dance. Those of you who know me well are probably more shocked by me attempting to dance than me attempting to rock climb, as well you should be. And it didn't take very long for both of us to acknowledge that truly, we don't dance.

So when dancing failed to provide the distraction I was hoping for, I dared Justin to jump over the balcony in my dining room (it's split level) down into the living room. So he went up to do it--he's not one to pass up a dare--and I pulled a section of the couch out of the way. While Justin pondered the jumping, the pulled out section of couch reminded me of a game that my sisters and I used to play when we were little. It was called "Hearts on the Fall." I don't have any idea why we called it that. What it entailed was us jumping from couch to couch and then jumping off the arm of the couch onto the floor. I guess that would be the hearts falling.

And then the idea struck me: we should make an obstacle course! I have to say that for all my sponge-like behavior, I'm kind of proud of the fact that this was my idea. Although, I guess technically I should be pretty embarrassed that this was my idea. Here's how it went: First, you had to run up the two flights of stairs and jump over the pulled out section of couch.

Then you had to jump across the gulf over to the next section of couch. I decided to name this move "the cliff dive." It seemed like a good idea that if we were going to have an obstacle course that the various parts should definitely have names. I think I might have gotten the idea to name the moves from American Gladiators, but I can't be sure.



Can you tell which one of us actually had to focus on safely making the cliff dive, and which one of us had the confidence to pose in mid air?

The next move was the one that got me every time. It is called the Vortex. Really it was one of the sections of couch turned on its side to make a tunnel, but I swear it sucked me in every time.

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My entry into the vortex really needed some work. I somehow couldn't ever gracefully dive down into it.


My exit from the Vortex was also not very graceful. Pretty much the vortex was the main thing standing between me and the Olympics, assuming this obstacle course was an Olympic event.


Justin's descent into the Vortex may not look graceful here, but it was really speedy. One solid movement straight from the cliff dive into the Vortex. I'm using the word Vortex a lot here. Mostly because I just think it's a really funny name for a part of an obstacle course.



So once you got out of the Vortex, you had to run over to the ottoman and roll over it on your back.


Stopping to pose took several seconds off my time.

Then there were several pillows laid out that you had to bunny hop over before running up the stairs for the big finish.

Mine looks more like I tripped going up the stairs, but that's only because you didn't see me fly up them and dive to the finish.

Justin's looks way cooler.

Good times. Good times. And the picture at the beginning actually had nothing to do with anything on this post. It was us canoing in Georgetown. I just thought it would be a waste of a good picture not to add it.